Matthew Peter Lamers and The Dreams of a Naive Boy

Here is a video of Matt Lamers playing one of his songs, The Curse on the corner of our very own George St. and Simcoe st. Shot this with him about a week ago, just for the sake of it. Aside from performing he also pieced the video together.

If you like him give him a like and if you want more here he is again playing his Momma's favourite Black and White Feathers at a local bar in town called The Spill.

                                                                                                                                                                              

More importantly though, my imagination has been entertaining the idea of starting a project about young and upcoming artists (specifically musicians) and their philosophy on life and art. As naive as it may sound and as far away from seeing it materialize as it may be, I was thinking of a two-prong approach.

1. Documenting their stories and philosophy and getting some good studio images of them and perhaps present that at The Artspace, downtown.

2. Set up a performance/concert to accompany the visual and theoretical aspect of the project by actually giving them a space and opportunity to play and have people attend.

How I would get this done, I do not know. Still I am ridiculously excited thinking of the possibilities. Now to find me some real artists.

If the supply of art is a result of appetite, then hungry we shall make them.

n.b. I know that there at least a few people who read this (hit counter), can I please have you refer me some young and genuine artists if you know any? 

十三: Have we lost our sight?

85mm @ f/1.4, 1/500th & ISO400

Does this look like a familiar scenario?

Do we really still see for ourselves (or in this case listen)? Or do others now see for us? A scary, scary thought. At this rate, we're doomed to the fate of the people in Plato's cave.

Of late I have really felt that I've been getting an education, and not just learning to get a grade, which I am extremely pleased about.

Something I will definitely speak about in length, in the future.

十二: Women of The World III

 

50mm @ f/1.8, 1/640th & ISO400

  I don't believe I have been as busy as I have been today, in my time in Canada. Though, this insanity has given birth to a fresh breath of life. Let's hope my physical body can keep up. Now, if I could only curb my terrible habits.

Day 2 of filming Kirill's short film, "The Staple." Again I have forgotten her name (I really need to work on that) plays the mother of the child in today's scene.

Amongst other things I went around school for The Arthur today taking pictures of students and getting them to participate in the We Are The 99% movement. My favourite kind of photojournalism. Really, really enjoyed doing that today. 10 points for doing what I love.

Pictures up soon.

ps. I am really loving that green trench coat

十: Women of The World I

85mm @ f/4, 1/250th & ISO400.

This is Lalaine (if my memory serves me right). Here she is practicing a form of Tai Chi sword form in front of Del Crary Park. After a quick chat a few pictures of her practicing, she bows as a gesture of gratitude.

Too little time, too much to talk about. 

In an attempt to rationalize my short comings, I'd like to point out that it isn't the case that I have not been shooting. Rather, that I have not been processing and uploading (which is equally as horrible). 

In short, I had a creatively fruitful day. Negotiating prices for my next event job, was invited to a join a photography network in Peterborough city, might have a sit down with the New Canadian Centre for video work, got my next assignment for Arthur, was finally published and shot a short vid of Matt Lamers signing in the streets.

Wow, how does a kid find time to brood over his ever-present loneliness in this day and age?

More details tomorrow!

六: "Blinding Pride"

SOOC: 85mm @ f/1.4, 1/100th & ISO100

"Kelsey Gordon Powell; on the set of 'The Staple.'"

Today was certainly a day of ups and downs. After cinema class today, I helped a friend and aspiring director, Kirill shoot his short film, "The Staple." Kelsey, a theater student [pictured above], was our talent for the day. Having not really worked with that many other young creatives before, this was a foreign but certainly beneficial experience. 

As some of you know, The Arthur offered me a position as their staff photographer yesterday. After a quick meal with the gents, I headed back to school to meet the rest of the team for my first story meeting. The team was friendly, humorous and welcoming. I proudly signed the papers and went home.

I got home and opened up my Trent email. To my utter dismay, I read that the Trent Annual regrets to inform me that I am not what their company is looking for. Instead, they offered me a correspondent position, where I am paid by the picture. 

Hold up. I didn't get the position? 

It took me a while to accept this. Who? How? Why? How is this possible? With my talent, gear, experience, resume, portfolio, and what I thought was an excellent interview, how was I not hired? Thoughts of that nature screamed across my head (correction, are still screaming). They snubbed me? Me!? Andrew Tan!? Then amidst the ashes of my contemplative rage a few points arose.

1. That it was again my pride that is the foundation of my objective reality. And it is the shattering of that illusion that ultimately gives birth to the frustration and anger that I am feeling. Then again, is it wrong for me to expect greatness for myself? My ego is a large one and I can't stop rationalizing the scenario. Are there really two other individuals who applied that are simply better then me? (and again the question keeps arising.. perhaps there is, but, are they really?) Why is that so hard to take in? It seems my colossal ego and the objective reality that results is once again my downfall.

2. I am reminded that in life, there are many things that are not in my control. One must be ready to adapt and move on to survive, even though we may not have our questions answered. This sounds familiar enough, yet the same feelings of disappointment and hurt arise. And in my attempt to camouflage my insecurities, I look to external factors to account for the situation I am in. Point! Point! Point!

3. I am not used to hearing, "no." Too often in life, I have had things my way. I have lived comfortably. Because of sheltered living, loving parents, a comfortable middle class life, not pushing my boundaries, the illusion of invincibility and perhaps a multitude of other factors, I am just not used to not having things go the way I want them to. Chase Jarvis quotes Mario Andretti who says "if everything feels under control, you're just not driving fast enough." If we [creatives] are not used to hearing no, we're not putting our work out there enough and are not pushing personal boundaries.

4. I clearly do not trust God enough. As my Mum says, we [our family] have often seen in retrospect how God has something even better for us when a door is shut (in our faces). History being a good reminder. This is definitely an indicator that I do not have it imprinted in my brain; that I am not fully convicted to the notion that God is ultimately in control. If not, why this despair? My faith is like a withering plant.

5. I have grown. No, of course I am not happy. Yes, I am certainly a sour puss. My wallet, my portfolio opportunities and certainly my ego, just took a hit. But, I can not imagine how much worst I would've taken this, in the vulnerable state I was in a year ago. Where the walls were up, the guns loaded, and I was ready to shoot anything that moved.

I apologize. Most of you might not even read till this far. But here is how I will end it. Cliché sounding as it is, I refuse to be defeated. In Chase Jarvis post about getting used to hearing "no", he states a few things "no" does. No filters out the uncommitted. It reminds us that this isn't for everyone. It serves as a motivator. And ultimately, it makes us better artists.

I will need some time to pick myself up, but count on me returning more educated and more hungry then before. I am undoubtedly unsettled and in need of answers, and a culprit, but I think I just have enough in me to continue to live life.

一: Leading a visual life (fo laif?)

85mm @ f/1.4 & 1/800th & ISO100

"Here's Mitchell. He was in my spirit group during ISW. An exciting young man he is and a good friend he could potentially become. He moved in to Dan's room back in E4, very coincidental.

Seems to be pretty decent with that 6-stringed instrument he lugs around. He might very likely score my next short film."

(taken from Facebook)

I believe my current readership now extends to two real people! Hoorah!

So, in my attempt to:
1. Have regular updates
2. Get my work out there more with (1)
3. Improve my trait
4. Lead a visual life

.. I plan to take at least a photo a day and put it up on here, my Facebook page, my Twitter page and perhaps in time a new Flickr page.

A visual life, creative living, expressing yourself.. whatever you may want to call it, seems to be essential to being a creative. An "artist's" relation to art/creativity is believed to be something lived out, in it's entirety. It shouldn't just take up a portion of your life, like a switch you can flick on and off, I think it ought to be evident and visible in all areas of life. That evidently is not a very simple task. The average 21st century kid is overwhelmed with things to do or accomplish.

As a realistic compromise, I think that I will take maybe an hour out of my day to walk around, live life visually, capture and image and share it with the world. I think that's a healthy practice to adopt as a hopeful visual artist of the future. I suspect a high degree of discipline and commitment will be required. Perhaps this will be a good indicator of whether I ought to be doing this in the first place.

365 projects are extremely popular with photographers. But if this is something that I am going to live with, how will I ever justify stopping? Project entirelifespanfromthispointonwards? My father has wrote an e-commentary (almost without fail), every week for the past 11 years. He loves writing and will keep doing what he loves. I hope I too truly love image making, as an ends to itself.

Today is the 22nd of September and this is day one.