十七: The Days Are Getting Shorter

85mm @ f/1.8, 1/200th & ISO400

That can only mean one thing, the inevitably of winter is upon us.

Sarah I believe was her name. Taken outside the Red Light District, Gzowski College, while on assignment for The Arthur.

Oh, I am proud to announce that I will be collaborating with another young Malaysian artist, and friend E'zatti Zahari to work on a project on portraits, something we both seem to enjoy. The idea is that I will capture a series of different faces each week (I am aiming for 10, at least) and if she is inspired, she'll turn one of those photos in to an illustration.

Here are a few examples of her work.

If you're in need of an illustrator, give her a try.

十六: Women of The World IV

85mm @ f/1.4, 1/50th & ISO1600

Again, no name. From Matthew's performance at The Spill, a while back.

It's still warm in November. How can I complain?

十四: Reality Will Catch Up With Ya'

Tweet

17mm @ f/5, 1/80th & ISO 200

Boy did I have an unproductive break. Back to reality once more. 

Here's one of my favourite shots of Montreal. There ought to be more to come. I hope I eventually get through them, sigh.

I have clearly failed at this.

Oh by the way, there are 7 people in this picture. Can you spot em' all?

Matthew Peter Lamers and The Dreams of a Naive Boy

Here is a video of Matt Lamers playing one of his songs, The Curse on the corner of our very own George St. and Simcoe st. Shot this with him about a week ago, just for the sake of it. Aside from performing he also pieced the video together.

If you like him give him a like and if you want more here he is again playing his Momma's favourite Black and White Feathers at a local bar in town called The Spill.

                                                                                                                                                                              

More importantly though, my imagination has been entertaining the idea of starting a project about young and upcoming artists (specifically musicians) and their philosophy on life and art. As naive as it may sound and as far away from seeing it materialize as it may be, I was thinking of a two-prong approach.

1. Documenting their stories and philosophy and getting some good studio images of them and perhaps present that at The Artspace, downtown.

2. Set up a performance/concert to accompany the visual and theoretical aspect of the project by actually giving them a space and opportunity to play and have people attend.

How I would get this done, I do not know. Still I am ridiculously excited thinking of the possibilities. Now to find me some real artists.

If the supply of art is a result of appetite, then hungry we shall make them.

n.b. I know that there at least a few people who read this (hit counter), can I please have you refer me some young and genuine artists if you know any? 

十一: Women of The World II

85mm @ f/2, 1/320th & ISO100

85mm @ f/2, 1/125th & ISO100

Found her on the street whilst I was cycling back and reacted. I believe she is here visiting her daughter who goes to Trent. I unfortunately can not remember either one of their names. Perhaps someone can identify her. Her daughter looks very much like her. Oh and in the process, I met another street photographer named Kevin (the first I've ever encountered in Peterborough, I might add!). He tried to take a picture of me while I was cycling down George street but didn't react quick enough. Next, he, just like I, spotted this wonderfully dressed lady but before he could approach her, I did. What a lovely coincidence. 

This wasn't the only interesting street encounter I had yesterday. As I was shooting Matt singing on the streets last night, a lady from the New Canadian Centre approached me and asked if I would be interested in doing interviews of story telling and passed me her card. Oh what a day!

I wish my family and I were more culturally inclined with our traditional clothing.

Well.. behold this wonderful woman--giving the finger to cultural imperialist by proudly wearing what she's comfortable with.

Matt played at The Spill tonight and I got pictures and videos of that coming up soon.

十: Women of The World I

85mm @ f/4, 1/250th & ISO400.

This is Lalaine (if my memory serves me right). Here she is practicing a form of Tai Chi sword form in front of Del Crary Park. After a quick chat a few pictures of her practicing, she bows as a gesture of gratitude.

Too little time, too much to talk about. 

In an attempt to rationalize my short comings, I'd like to point out that it isn't the case that I have not been shooting. Rather, that I have not been processing and uploading (which is equally as horrible). 

In short, I had a creatively fruitful day. Negotiating prices for my next event job, was invited to a join a photography network in Peterborough city, might have a sit down with the New Canadian Centre for video work, got my next assignment for Arthur, was finally published and shot a short vid of Matt Lamers signing in the streets.

Wow, how does a kid find time to brood over his ever-present loneliness in this day and age?

More details tomorrow!

九: Paying Your Dues

18mm @ f/4.0, 1.3'' & ISO100

I believe in life, most of us have to pay our dues to get to where we want to. I suppose I too can't escape doing the necessary  putting one's pride aside at hopes of eventually being victorious.

My favourite from the night.

n.b. Picture taken at The 2nd Floor Lounge and Patio, Peterborough, ON.

七: Doing What is Necessary

85mm @ f/2, 1/1000th & ISO100

A slight hiccup early in my journey, I know.

An elderly couple window shopping for a new set of hearing aid(s). This reminds me of my paternal grandmother who refuses to pick up a set and her quality of life has subsequently been hit greatly because of it. 

I hope at that age I will be able to accept my potential lack of independence willingly.

六: "Blinding Pride"

SOOC: 85mm @ f/1.4, 1/100th & ISO100

"Kelsey Gordon Powell; on the set of 'The Staple.'"

Today was certainly a day of ups and downs. After cinema class today, I helped a friend and aspiring director, Kirill shoot his short film, "The Staple." Kelsey, a theater student [pictured above], was our talent for the day. Having not really worked with that many other young creatives before, this was a foreign but certainly beneficial experience. 

As some of you know, The Arthur offered me a position as their staff photographer yesterday. After a quick meal with the gents, I headed back to school to meet the rest of the team for my first story meeting. The team was friendly, humorous and welcoming. I proudly signed the papers and went home.

I got home and opened up my Trent email. To my utter dismay, I read that the Trent Annual regrets to inform me that I am not what their company is looking for. Instead, they offered me a correspondent position, where I am paid by the picture. 

Hold up. I didn't get the position? 

It took me a while to accept this. Who? How? Why? How is this possible? With my talent, gear, experience, resume, portfolio, and what I thought was an excellent interview, how was I not hired? Thoughts of that nature screamed across my head (correction, are still screaming). They snubbed me? Me!? Andrew Tan!? Then amidst the ashes of my contemplative rage a few points arose.

1. That it was again my pride that is the foundation of my objective reality. And it is the shattering of that illusion that ultimately gives birth to the frustration and anger that I am feeling. Then again, is it wrong for me to expect greatness for myself? My ego is a large one and I can't stop rationalizing the scenario. Are there really two other individuals who applied that are simply better then me? (and again the question keeps arising.. perhaps there is, but, are they really?) Why is that so hard to take in? It seems my colossal ego and the objective reality that results is once again my downfall.

2. I am reminded that in life, there are many things that are not in my control. One must be ready to adapt and move on to survive, even though we may not have our questions answered. This sounds familiar enough, yet the same feelings of disappointment and hurt arise. And in my attempt to camouflage my insecurities, I look to external factors to account for the situation I am in. Point! Point! Point!

3. I am not used to hearing, "no." Too often in life, I have had things my way. I have lived comfortably. Because of sheltered living, loving parents, a comfortable middle class life, not pushing my boundaries, the illusion of invincibility and perhaps a multitude of other factors, I am just not used to not having things go the way I want them to. Chase Jarvis quotes Mario Andretti who says "if everything feels under control, you're just not driving fast enough." If we [creatives] are not used to hearing no, we're not putting our work out there enough and are not pushing personal boundaries.

4. I clearly do not trust God enough. As my Mum says, we [our family] have often seen in retrospect how God has something even better for us when a door is shut (in our faces). History being a good reminder. This is definitely an indicator that I do not have it imprinted in my brain; that I am not fully convicted to the notion that God is ultimately in control. If not, why this despair? My faith is like a withering plant.

5. I have grown. No, of course I am not happy. Yes, I am certainly a sour puss. My wallet, my portfolio opportunities and certainly my ego, just took a hit. But, I can not imagine how much worst I would've taken this, in the vulnerable state I was in a year ago. Where the walls were up, the guns loaded, and I was ready to shoot anything that moved.

I apologize. Most of you might not even read till this far. But here is how I will end it. Cliché sounding as it is, I refuse to be defeated. In Chase Jarvis post about getting used to hearing "no", he states a few things "no" does. No filters out the uncommitted. It reminds us that this isn't for everyone. It serves as a motivator. And ultimately, it makes us better artists.

I will need some time to pick myself up, but count on me returning more educated and more hungry then before. I am undoubtedly unsettled and in need of answers, and a culprit, but I think I just have enough in me to continue to live life.

五: HIRED + Man in a hat

85mm @ f/2.8, 1/50th & ISO100

What? It's a man in a hat. 

Also, I'd just like it to be on record that Traill college is a lovely, lovely place to be in, study in and photograph.

OH. And I was offered the photographer position at The Arthur today. Meeting the team and signing papers tomorrow.

Awwwyeahhh. I am ecstatic. Moolah for  doing what I love (taking pictures and interacting with people).


Oh, boy!

四: Party Rock Girl

85mm @ f/2.8, 1/800th and ISO100

 Sometimes images just come to you. Holy heck! It's the guy kick-ass-Ninja-Turtles-shell-bag from the Party Rock Anthem video!

And just in case you forgot what I am referring to. Here's a screenshot of it from the actual music video.

Awwwwwwyeahhhhhh! 

How sweet is that!

Tomorrow will be the real test of commitment when school actually commences again and I have to find the time to squeeze in roughly an hour (walking around, shooting, editing and uploading) in to my seemingly hectic schedule. Hoping for the best!